Are you looking for a nice, comfy gym with brand new, shiny LCD TVs on every treadmill? Then you’re clearly not cut out to work out here. Go join your 24 hour corporate fluff gym with the other headband-hoarding, Bosu-ball-balancing prima donnas and their oversized racquetball gym bags.

However, if you are searching for a serious gym where you can scream, use chalk, and hoist heavy iron without being meekly cautioned by a skinny salesperson about intimidating the other members, then you have found your home. Please note that you will face certain ridicule if you are an adult male and are discovered lifting an inappropriately meager amount of weight, especially if you are screaming as well.

We have dumbbells up to 210 pounds, plenty of free weights and machines, and just enough cardio equipment to keep some of you aerobics princesses pleased. We are located at 9794 West Peoria Ave., Suite 9-13, Peoria, Arizona 85345. Our gym is in the strip mall on the NE corner of 99th Ave. and Peoria. Our phone number is (623) 979-5275.

NOTE: Working out here is a privilege, not your right. Act like an idiot and you WILL be thrown out! (So rack your weights!)